A Cold Week

I waited for a whole week and there was no reply from Rashed. I couldn't stop thinking of him no matter how recent we met, as I fell in love with him. 

I now didn't know what to do, a few months were away from my Milcha, and I could never think of marrying Mohammed. He obviously had no feelings for me, and was a player, but I guess this is my luck. 

We had a few days left in London and my family kept urging me to start shopping for the Milcha and the various occasions after it. I also was scheduled to go to a dress fitting at Vera Wang, all thanks to my sister Sarah who is acting as if she is getting married again. 

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It was Monday morning I woke up and desperately looked at my phone, desperately hoping that Rashed replied to any of my hundred messages. Unfortunately there was nothing ... I dragged myself to the closet, and wore anything, since I no longer had anyone to dress for or impress.

As soon as I got out I saw my elder sisters and mom speaking on where we will be going to buy dresses and all the other stuff for the wedding. How would I be happy and enthusiastic for a wedding that I am forcefully in (My family didn't force me, but I felt mentally forced).

After breakfast, we picked up Noora and headed out to look for the dress fitting appointment at Vera Wang. As we entered I was blown away by all the gorgeous dresses, but each one looked dull in my eyes.

My sisters and Noora were jumping all around the place, while my mother sat on the chair pointing at which dresses she thought looked nice and then sent me in to try it.

As I put on the first dress and went out in front of them, they all started tearing and then each one pointed out a bad thing about the dress. When they asked me for my opinion, I simply said "Any" as I was not a single bit interested in marrying Mohammed after what happened, and what I saw.

After dozens of dresses, Sarah & Roudha made their choice and chose "the perfect one" for me. Noora noticed that I wasn't happy and told me to give her my phone. I wondered why she wanted my phone, to my shock she sent a message to Rashed which said:

"Hi this is Noora we met over lunch once with Latifa. I just wanted to tell you that what you are doing is wrong, she really loves you and she doesn't want to go through with this wedding. Make a move before it is to late for the both of you. - Noora" 


I got so mad at her, but yet I was happy that she sent that message I wanted to know what would happen when he read it.

During the whole wedding shopping spree, Roudha kept staring at my every move. I had a feeling she told Sarah, but Sarah would have started a whole new level of drama if she did.

Finally after hours we got free from my sisters and mother, so me and Noora went and sat down at Godiva Cafe, Harrods. Where I saw Rashed sitting with his guy friend, I waited for him to smile, or to do anything. He just looked at me once right in the eyes for less than a second and turned away.

I wanted to get up and go to his table, but Noora stopped me and said "Are you an idiot look at the amount of Arabs over here, what are you trying to do? Kill your reputation?!" 

I was on my nerves I waited anxiously for something to happen, I wanted him to say something to me. I thought to myself how could he be like this, I thought he liked me. I was new to these kinds of things and had no idea what was the right move.

After a while his friend went and Rashed was there sitting alone, I could not stop myself I had to go to him. I got up and ignored Noora completely, and went to his table and sat down.

Me: Rashed this is not fair, why are you doing this to me?
Rashed: Latifa get up and go back to your place.
Me: I won't get up and if you go away I'll make a scene, please Rashed.
Rashed: I really liked you, but you are getting married.
Me: I'll cancel it.
Rashed: And then what?
Me: You come propose to me and we'll get married.
Rashed: Uhm... I am not really ready for marriage. Not for a couple of years, if you are willing to wait? I just want a relationship for now.


What have I done, I just gave myself away for free. I sole-handedly ruined my reputation in front of Mohammed, Noora, Roudha, and the whole Arab community in Godiva Cafe. 


I swallowed my tears I tried to stay strong, I smiled, got up ...

Rashed immediately said.. "LATIFA WAIT"

It was my time to start ignoring, I just turned my back and walked away...