Heartless

The only man I have ever fallen in love with, just told me right to my face that he was not ready for marriage right now. While me an 18 year old university student, was ready to give up my marriage to a well-known guy in the community, just for Rashed my first love. 

I wanted Noora to slap me, I wanted her to take a knife and stab me till death, I wanted to throw myself in front of one of those London buses. 

We got out of Godiva and walked around Harrods looking for nice bags to buy. The whole time Noora kept trying to get me to talk, I changed the subject and started talking on what was left for me to buy for my wedding. That way she got the hint, that things haven't gone as planned. 

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After an hour I checked my phone and saw that I had more than 10 messages and they were all from Rashed, all the messages were asking me to forgive him for what he said. While in the last message he said "Please meet me at my place for dinner tonight, you can get Noora along with you". 

I told Noora that he said that, she thought it would be the worst idea to meet him she clearly said "Ignore him for today". 

I was strong enough now to start ignoring Rashed, and just spent the whole day not thinking about him (Sort of). 

After we spent hours roaming around and meeting with our university friends for dinner, me and Noora went for a walk around Knightsbridge before we both headed home. I walked Noora to her house (As her house is just a building away from my house) and then headed to my place. 

When I reached I saw Rashed standing next to Rolex under my apartment. He saw me and there was no chance for me to turn sides, I continued walking straight and tried ignoring him. 

He put his hand on my shoulder and said "Latifa, wait a second" I backed off and pushed his hand away. 

"YOU CAN'T TOUCH A LADY, DON'T YOU KNOW THAT! Or are you to open minded and so British like now that you don't even care about marriage or your traditions or whatever" 

Yes I blew up for the first time ever, all the emotions came out ... until I started crying. 

Rashed: Latifa I really love you, I just said that because I didn't want to ruin your life. But then I realized what a fool I was, please Latifa let us fix this. I want you in my life... 

I am ready to tell my mother that I want to propose to you, I will do that! Just give me a chance Latifa. 

I did not know what to say... but how was I supposed to believe him this time. 

Me: Rashed please stop ruining my life more than this, if you want me come and propose. If you just want a fun thing, I am not the girl for that. 

I walked away from him and went to my apartment... Where I found a huge gift box for me, and it was from Mohammed, there was a card that said: 

"Here are some of my favourite things from London, as well as a few things I liked to buy for my fiancee. - Your Fiancee, Mohammed" 

I didn't want to believe that suddenly Mohammed started to feel that he was engaged, I was certain that this was either his sisters idea or it is some kind of a cover up for that lady I saw. 

Before going to bed, I got a text from Rashed that said "I love you and will show you how much you mean to me".